I Am No More

You don't know
how to love me.
'Cause I stopped being
who you fell for.

Years we spent,
in love and in hope,
to be together one day,
against all the odds that followed.

Years we spent,
in distance and in devices,
to be together one day,
against all the odds that were there.

We saw the stars paint,
with their beautiful, mighty flares,
and how the golden wiped their canvas,
'cause we forfeited our sleeps
to keep the love alight.

And we watched as those tiny freckles,
complained and scratched at the night next day,
but the morning came anyway,
and erased all again without a trace,
'cause we forfeited our sleeps
to keep the love alive.

We got caught in
the tumultuous daily winds,
the struggles of keeping heads high,
and along the way, something changed.

We got caught in
others' friendly faces,
the need of one's needs,
and along the way, we both changed.

Now we won the race,
battered and tired and short breaths,
closed the distance, but lost the game,
"togetherness" is funny,
for we don't get it anymore as everyone does.

As we lay on the bed,
as big as the distance between us,
learning the art of holding hands,
the realization cuts through me,

You don't know
how to love me anymore.
'Cause I'm no more
whom you fell for.

I Shall Burn

Should've come to you one last time.
Should've asked you how you were.
Should've kept you within reach.
Should've kissed you goodbye.

I see that I'm incredibly selfish.
Took you for granted.
Didn't let you in on my life updates.
Never met you when you were so old.

I was nearby at that time.
Could've made a simple visit.
I could've....
Alas! I am sitting in a faraway place, in a comfortable chair,
Regretting the decisions I didn't make.
I should've come to see you that time.

You were a bright light,
Loved me like your own daughter,
I called you "Tailor Grandpa", but Grandpa all the same.
We met every day when I was little,
In the tumultuous process of my adulting,
Your thoughts were left rotting in a corner.

Regret is a nasty thing.
It's like your child,
Who killed your lovely wife in birth.

Forgive me for devaluing.
Forgive me for discarding.
Forgive me, for my sins cannot be forgiven,
As horrible as I am, my being shall burn.

A Love Story

 As the cold creaks of the wood beneath,
Clawed onto my violet cheek,
The rubies rolled down my lips,
Met the chilled wood with a harsh thud.

Pushing through the fog,
My gaze wandered out the only window.
The oblivious green bird sang,
An invitation to a happy dance.

As I drench in my oozing life,
Flooded with memories of an unpleasant eve ---
How the bottle we nearly opened,
Groped me in scarlet ivys.

It was all smiles at first,
When you held my hand through every street.
Wrote 'gentleman' with the white clouds,
And I watched the sky cry lavender that evening.

Sunsets are beautiful, you said,
Loved harsh winters and prickling cold.
I liked sunrises and summers,
But learned to love the difference in us all the same.

You were a kind soul, the mother claimed.
Special needs and occasional blues, nothing to be worried of.
Even when the dark smoke engulfed me every night,
I stayed, refused to leave, learning to love the differences.

We sealed the bond in whites with rings,
I woke up with a blinded eye from its kiss at night.
You made me yearn for a baby one night,
And punched it out of my womb in a fit.

Now, as the blood freezes slowly on this floor,
As the footprints he smeared latch onto the wood,
I laugh as a thought crosses my mind,
"It's going to be incredibly hard to clean this mess".